Afterward (in memory of her grandmother)
Camilla Chen sec 4DG (International Winner)
Camilla was one of the 15 young poets from around the world to be awarded the Foyle's Young Poet's Award 2007.
http://www.poetrysociety.org.uk/content/competitions/fyp/fyp2007/

i.
How did it happen?
Ten hours and ten minutes more
but the day has ended, and I see you:
shoes still on your feet, and your clothes,
all the colours out of place against the mortuary walls.

I remember: The way you’d hold my hand
in both of yours, the way you'd ask, smiling,
你好吗? *

ii.
The night is eloquent
but I have hemmed myself in.
No words to give
so I fold paper and
feed it to the fire,
watching flames lick
through the petals,
each incense structure
curling and crumbling,
slowly collapsing
into ash.

I remember: Sunday afternoons at your store,
you teaching me how to count out change
and letting me sit in your storekeeper's armchair

iii.
When they sing
it's part of the ritual.
I don't understand the dialect,
your dialect, but I close my eyes
as the voices lift, soar, dip,
in a language of grief
that requires no translation.

I remember: Dinner with you,
your cooking fragrant as you urged us on,
eat, eat, eat generously, eat more.

iv.
It's a beautiful morning today
and we're sending you off.
In my head I try to talk to you,
think of the things I would have
liked to say to you, imagine
how you would have answered.

I remember: Once asking your age
and not having enough fingers and toes
for your sixty six years.

v.
We watch from behind a glass panel
as you make your last journey alone
slowly, in a box on a track, into the crematorium.
When we emerge the sky is the brightest it's been in days
I remember your smile, the creases around your eyes,
the way your hands were always cool and dry.
Nobody says a thing on the way back
But when we smile with the tears still in our eyes
I hope you know we're thinking of you.

vi.
外婆, 你好吗?
我很好, 我很好. **

©Camilla Chen sec 4DG

My (ex) seniors are awesome. This poem made me cry after reading it from hq's blog. And i remember when they read it out during assembly last year,i almost cried too. This is the ONLY poem on earth i can even read through, much less cry about.
I really miss sc. I miss having a life.
Things i did today:
study bio, did half of math before getting bored, attempted to study chem.
Oh and i now have two laptops. my fujitsu+my father's apple which he doesnt want. YAY!
tmr last day of cny gotta go grandmas house. cannot go study with yasmeen and steph :( :( :( i really miss them
GTG MY PARENTS WANT TO TRAIN MY MAHJONG SKILLS COZ THEY THINK I TOO LOUSY.
they embarrassed that i always lose and always gt one extra tile :(